SO I have to say, I've been debating putting this on here...but I think it's important...and I'm totally pissed...so I might as well share my misery!
A good friend of mine and I occasionally get together in the midst of our busy lives to fit in a joint work out. It's way more fun to run your ass off with someone else than try to kill yourself on your own (although I do that 4 more times in a week anyway)...So we did, as we usually do. This dear friend shared details from an earlier conversation she had with a co-worker that shocked me. It went like this (I assume some details as I was not present at the time):
Hey "friend of Alicia" what are you up to?
Hey "seemingly friendly co-worker" I'm just about to go workout with Alicia.
Oh, that's good, she could use to lose a few pounds.
WHAAA!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?
Some thoughts that come to mind:
1. WHO ASKED YOU (insert terrible, slanderous cursing here)
2. You're really not one to talk (I could say some hurtful things here, but I really just don't think ANYone is one to talk about another person like that...)
3. You're a grown assed adult (we're not even talking 20 year old jock asshole, this is a full blown 45-50 year old man ...)
4. You don't know me, you don't know what I've been through, and you are not ME so you could not possibly understand what it means to be me fat, skinny or otherwise.
5. Why would you say that to someone who was clearly my friend...did you really not think that it would get back to me?
6. WHY can't I stop dwelling on this stupid comment?
7. Why would you say that to ANYONE????????????????
Okay, horse is dead...
I knew my weight has gotten bad...I just didn't realize it was THAT bad. I feel pretty hurt.
There are so many things I'd like to say here.
1. I'd really like to help more people understand what it feels like to look down every day and see a roll around your gut that makes you feel like a failure and less of a person.
2. I'd like to help people understand that not every person who is overweight has just given up on life and lives on the couch eating bon bons...it's a journey not a cruise.
3. I wish that people (AND ME TOO) could understand that it takes TIME to lose weight. I'm fitter than I was 2 months ago, but it's not instant and I should not be made to feel bad just because I haven't hit the size 2 mark yet.
4. I wish I could explain to people how very difficult it is to lose weight when every day you look in the mirror and think, this doesn't fit, I'm not there yet, I'm never going to be there.
5. I wish people could understand what a struggle it is to look into the world every day and see people who appear care free and naturally "thin" enjoying a life of over-indulgence and not appearing to pay the price (advertising, facebook, television, you name it)
6. Mostly I just wish that stupid people would keep their stupid mouths shut, but I'm afraid this would be a pretty quiet world if that was the case.
I have a lot of feels.
So that being said, we had a great workout tonight. Powered by the self-important fuel from some stupid asshole's big mouth...I'm stronger than he thinks.
3 comments:
an insult repeated by a friend is still an insult. It is better not to repeat things said about others to them--it hurts still hurts their feelings.
Sorry you have been hurt by these words Alicia!
You have come a long way, worked very hard to be where you are now and have committed to becoming healthier. Your weight is going to fluctuate your whole life--try to remember this when picking a magic number. Size 2 isn't for everyone (I'm hoping for a 12 at some point!)
Remember to take care of your mental work out too with positive affirmations, surrounding yourself with those who are supportive and positive, and take a break from the task at hand once in a while--a mental break!
You are LOVED!
What an idiot!! I do hope your friend backed you up to that jerk.
It is said that we critisize the attributes of others based on what we don't like about ourselves. This jerk-wad should look in the mirror.
What goes around comes around baby.
Those people that appear thin and can eat what they please will die way before those who make a conscious effort for being healthy.
Keep up the great work and don't ever feel bad about posting a story such as this.
First of all I just want to say that I love you and I am proud of you and how you take charge, make changes and have always done the right thing~ and I don't mean just your journey here...I mean always. You stand up for what you believe, you have compassion and understanding and the knowledge that everyone is fighting their own battle and judging them will do more harm then help. You keep doing what your doing...and as for that other fellow well I feel sorry for him that he feels that insecure that he needs to beat other people down to make himself feel important! He is long out of high-school and its probably time for him to start acting like an adult.
So that being said... I am pretty sure you knew I couldn't let this one pass...Momma Bears protect their cubs and you will always be mine. <3 heaps and loads and piles and piles <3
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