Yeah...she could stand to lose some weight...

SO I have to say, I've been debating putting this on here...but I think it's important...and I'm totally pissed...so I might as well share my misery! 

A good friend of mine and I occasionally get together in the midst of our busy lives to fit in a joint work out. It's way more fun to run your ass off with someone else than try to kill yourself on your own (although I do that 4 more times in a week anyway)...So we did, as we usually do. This dear friend shared details from an earlier conversation she had with a co-worker that shocked me.  It went like this (I assume some details as I was not present at the time):

Hey "friend of Alicia" what are you up to? 

Hey "seemingly friendly co-worker" I'm just about to go workout with Alicia. 

Oh, that's good, she could use to lose a few pounds. 

WHAAA!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!? 

Some thoughts that come to mind: 
1. WHO ASKED YOU (insert terrible, slanderous cursing here)
2. You're really not one to talk (I could say some hurtful things here, but I really just don't think ANYone is one to talk about another person like that...)
3. You're a grown assed adult (we're not even talking 20 year old jock asshole, this is a full blown 45-50 year old man ...)
4. You don't know me, you don't know what I've been through, and you are not ME so you could not possibly understand what it means to be me fat, skinny or otherwise. 
5. Why would you say that to someone who was clearly my friend...did you really not think that it would get back to me? 
6. WHY can't I stop dwelling on this stupid comment?
7. Why would you say that to ANYONE????????????????

Okay, horse is dead...

I knew my weight has gotten bad...I just didn't realize it was THAT bad. I feel pretty hurt. 

There are so many things I'd like to say here. 

1. I'd really like to help more people understand what it feels like to look down every day and see a roll around your gut that makes you feel like a failure and less of a person. 
2.  I'd like to help people understand that not every person who is overweight has just given up on life and lives on the couch eating bon bons...it's a journey not a cruise. 
3. I wish that people (AND ME TOO) could understand that it takes TIME to lose weight. I'm fitter than I was 2 months ago, but it's not instant and I should not be made to feel bad just because I haven't hit the size 2 mark yet. 
4. I wish I could explain to people how very difficult it is to lose weight when every day you look in the mirror and think, this doesn't fit, I'm not there yet, I'm never going to be there. 
5.  I wish people could understand what a struggle it is to look into the world every day and see people who appear care free and naturally "thin" enjoying a life of over-indulgence and not appearing to pay the price (advertising, facebook, television, you name it)
6. Mostly I just wish that stupid people would keep their stupid mouths shut, but I'm afraid this would be a pretty quiet world if that was the case. 

I have a lot of feels. 
So that being said, we had a great workout tonight. Powered by the self-important fuel from some stupid asshole's big mouth...I'm stronger than he thinks. 

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!

ARE YOU REAADDDYYYYYYYY TO CRUSH SOME CALORIES!?!?!?!?

My week: 

Monday - Need to do some Cardio, chillin' with Tdiddy later at Little Bean if you're around! 

Tuesday - EARLY Group Power (6:40am) - Come on out if you want to build big muscles and start your day right!! Meeting that night to talk with some important folks about an important community building BBQ coming up at Christ Lutheran in September (check out: www.christwaterloo.ca for details) 

Wednesday - Hanging out with the Newcomer Youth at the YMCA to talk about Employment, then on to RUNNING GROUP!!!! (in the hot hot heat...pray for us)

Thursday - Supper with one of my faves (hopefully no chili cheese fries...) and then GROUP POWER (6:40pm this time, again....come out if you're ready to rock)

Friday - Short day and then on to the JAYS GAME with another of my faves (YAHHH Crissy!!!) 

Goals: 

1. No wheat/gluten (I know I say this all the time, but it's a struggle...EVERYTHING has wheat, and it's really hard to weigh the consequences vs. the convenience sometimes)

2. Keep them calories low (STAY ON TRACK!!)
3. Hit the GYM - Every day (maybe not Friday...)

Hot as BALLS!!! Tennis balls that is...

So tonight, against my better judgement, I joined 3 of my running buddies at the A.R. Kaufman Family YMCA for a little "Outdoor Fitness Challenge" in the 40 degree heat...

Let me begin by saying, I was less than motivated today. In fact I'm close to writing off this whole week in terms of any sort of attempt at being healthy (it's already Wednesday for goodness sake). Today was one of those days that started with McDonalds and ended with Frozen Yogurt (topped with all sorts of delicious things that easily took the calorie count from about 200 to 1000...see picture below)

SO, despite feeling like I might puke, I ventured out into the parking lot of the Kaufman Y where I, and the other victims of Mat's evil schemes, ran around looking for hidden tennis balls, throwing tires around, doings burpees and passing fire hoses under our planked bodies...After recovering from the slight nausea (caused by the heat of course...not the hamburger I ate for supper), I had a pretty good time. Cheering someone on as they flip a tractor tire through the parking lot is fun. Pushing someone around until they fall down is a cool game, and sweating balls in the middle of a hot day with a bunch of friends is actually a worthy pursuit. 

Then it hit me again. It's not about just me on this journey. It's the "us" that counts. 

So this week has been me-centric, and I've been feeling miserable. I'mma go ahead and try to make this fun again. Give me a shout, I'll try to do the same for you. Lemme know what you're up to, what your struggles are, what the good news is...it's not just you or me out there doing it on our own. Without each other we WILL fail. 

Closing thought: If I never do another burpee in my life I'll be just fine ;)

Fat Girl inside

Hey Folks, how are you doing? 

I have to admit I have been on a bit of a mental vacation. 

Between lapses in brain waves and my laptop barely scraping through life one breath at a time...my blogging has been somewhat deficient lately...

Not just the blogging mind you. The eating, and the exercising, and the generally being healthy....has also been deficient. 

I shouldn't say that...I did have a couple of good days. At least I worked out a couple of times...it was a vacation after all...So why is it that I am left here on the first day after vacation with a bag of chips in my hands and a brownie recently swallowed? 

I blame the fat chick. 

Deep down inside of me there is a fat chick just BEGGING to be let out. If I let my guard down for ONE minute she pokes her *&$%#@! head out and devours everything in her path. She's lazy, she's tired, she's full of excuses and she is RUINING MY LIFE!!!!! At least my wardrobe...

So I'm back at 'er tomorrow. Swallowing back the urge to finish this bag of chips. 
Lunch is packed. Workouts planned. #prayforme

So we're down to once a week eh?

Hello Friends! 

Any other bloggers out there find their frequency waxing and waning on the blog-o-sphere? I'm still around, and still DOIN STUFF!!! 

So good news bears - 10lbs!!!! (that is, if that number can hold through this long weekend's fun)

How? 

1. worked out EVERY DAY, except 2 (Sunday, Monday) 
I did eat out a couple of times, big ticket items too (calorie wise) and then countered the calorie overload with an hour or so of cardio...
2. Ate with a mind to calories-in calories-out every day (with a goal of about 1300 calories/day)

Other good news? I've basically recovered from a calf strain and additional nonsense from the past couple of weeks and was able to start running again this week! What a relief. I hate cardio, but I especially hate not-running cardio. I mean, I can't go anywhere on an elliptical, and I get bored easily. 

So perhaps I will be able to get back to saving the world from Zombies in: Zombies Run!  :)

So there's your check in - have a fantastic Canada Weekend everyone who is celebrating, and good luck with this short work week!!

Looking forward to seeing lots of folks next weekend at the PIG ROAST!!! It's always good times!!!