Phase 3....the cycle unravels

So last week I hit phase three of my fitness cycle. 

Just to remind you, steps 1 and 2 are as follows: 

1. Wait miserably through what feels like fitness hell and healthy eating torture while not one ounce of love          handle appears to budge.

2. Become inVINCible....or at least feel invincible when you start to see subtle changes, this is a precarious       stage because it can quickly fold into a, "I'm good right here" attitude followed by a, "who cared in the first      place" mantra...to avoid this detour is to truly begin down this enlightened path. 

Now onto last week's snag. 

3. Become NEUROTIC - truly, down to the last calorie. 

I've been tracking again through MyFitnessPal.com. I love it because it allows me to casually track things throughout the day and provides data ongoing about my eating patterns, my fibre/protein/carb intake and a minute by minute view of my day in terms of how many calories in and how many out...based on a goal of course. 

However, having just come from the invincibility stage and glowing with it's warmth, I begin to allow small thoughts to change my healthy patterns into NOT so healthy patterns. 

It's totally healthy to lose about 2lbs a week. In fact it is PROVEN that if you lose at a small weekly increment you are more likely to keep the weight off in the long run. Pushing your body through large weight loss increments affects your metabolism negatively as well as causing your body to react to the lack of carbohydrates by exhibiting symptoms like headaches, nausea, dizziness, and exhaustion. If you can make it through those symptoms to the big "Hurrah!" you will be dissapointed to find that the weight begins to quickly creep back on when normal eating habits resume. 

I say all that because I think it is important to let you know that I KNOW....but there's something about being able to control your weight loss pound for pound each day by taking late night trips to the gym, skipping out on a snack or pushing my body through exhaustion to burn that last 200 calories (so that I can eat more on the weekend, says my foolish inner voice). 

I've long since stopped intentionally gorging myself on the weekend (though it's a hard habit to break and I love food), but I've replaced a relaxed sense of freedom on weekends with a neurotic effort all week long. Gotta make the weekly total!! It feels so good to CONTROL my calorie intake/output. It feels so good to see the quick changes as my tummy starts to slim down and my pants fit a bit looser. 

So I fight for a balance. Every day. 

Haven't decided yet, but stage 4 in this battle may just be exhaustion and self preservation. I'll let you know as the days go on. 

Thanks for reading, all the best to you as you unravel your patterns and seek balance in your life! 

Namaste :) 

Speaking of invincibility

I wish I were invincible. 
As it stands, I would even take invincible will power. 

Last time I wrote a little bit about my fitness cycle, let me elaborate:
The cycle starts with that slow "never-gonna-end" kind of stage...

1. I'm eating well but I still feel like a fat kid
2. I'm exercising, but what's the point? 
3. I have goals, but the scale doesn't seem to want to play nicely. 

Then I head into the invincible stage. 
Now what does that look like? 

1. People start to notice/comment on my progress
2. I start to notice my own progress (in that order)
3. Clothes start to fit differently
4. I'm in a "groove" with eating
5. I FEEL healthy and strong and fit. 
6. MOST CHARACTERISTIC: I feel like I've never been anything but fit and healthy. 

What often happens when I'm deep enough into this stage is: 

I GIVE UP!!!!

Self fulfilling prophecy: I can't do this, I'll never be able to do this. 

and begins the cycle of guilt. 

Sometimes recognizing patterns is the most helpful way to make a different choice. 

So because I recognize this pattern I've been taking it day by day, or at least week by week. 
I pack my lunches and think about lunches one day ahead. 
I go to the gym and burn a few hundred extra calories when I know I'm going "out"
I recognize that even though I ate 1.5 days worth of extra calories on the weekend - every day is a new day and if I live in the guilt of yesterday I will only ever achieve the results of yesterday's choices. 

Head up. Keep moving. Do what you can. 

Food is my greatest battle. Some days I win, some days I lose. 
Whatever happens, don't give up.