Reasons for this change have included:
1. Sense of dissapointment in self - not meeting goals
2. Less time to commit to blogging (or do anything else in life)
No apologies to make. Just a few thoughts that have been floating in this brain as of late. Take them for what they are.
The question I have asked myself (over and over) is WHY?
Why do I fail to stick with my goals?
Why do I work my ass off just to turn around and head back to the beginning again?
Why is life so hard *whine* *whine* *whine*?!?!
lol. That last question was really all for comedy. But seriously.
I heard somewhere the other day that telling someone about your goals can actually release the same "acheivement" endorphins in your brain as actually getting there. (Wish I had some credible website to quote here, but it is just as likely to have been the John Tesh Radio show...reallllly credible source, you know?)
Credible or not, this made me really question how helpful this blog has been to me (as I found myself in a loop of setting goals and watching myself fail). I can see in myself how it could be true. I recognize the feeling of lift or release when talking to someone about goals and being affirmed in my desires to achieve those goals.
I'm going to go for a run tonight - can be a promise or a way to seek accountability...it can also be the beginning of a long night of guilt when I feel too lazy or too tired to get my butt out the door.
I have been reflecting on my first steps into the world of fitness. What made me so successful that time around? Could it be that I only really told one person what I was doing? Could it be that I quietly tracked my progress by hand each day? Could it be that I wasn't working 60 hours a week? No one thing really captures the full picture.
Suffice to say it has not felt as easy this time around. The same 30 pounds are hanging around like an unwelcome house guest, convincing me at every turn that I should further extend the arms of hospitality rather than lose my cool and show them where the door is.
I'm in the first 2-4 weeks of effort now. These are the slow weeks. The weeks where nothing feels like it's going to work, no amount of effort makes me feel like I've done enough, and every bite above that calorie goal makes me feel like a fat kid. (These are also the weeks of late night gym trips - trying to fix all the mistakes of the day). If I can get through this first part of the journey I know what comes next - The invincible stage...I'm terrified. Can I break through misconceived invincibility to make it to the next road? Do I even know the way anymore?
No lofty goals - every day is a new day. Gotta make them all count for something.
Happy Weekending Friends!
