14. I'll be home for Christmas

So. Upon much deliberation...

I have decided to go home for Christmas. I mean, I had been planning to for some time now...and then there was a bit of a wrench...but anyways. Now that I have "made my decision" I feel a bit better. I was feeling pretty low about missing all the fun. When the wrench "situation" came upon me I thought I would only be able to be home for the 25th and 26th...which is not enough time when you consider the drive there and back as well as how much I like my family...so, instead I will be home from the 23-26th. (I know...two more days...)

That is what being a grown up is all about...making decisions you don't like and getting the rough end of the deal...oh and being fairly seriously in debt up to ones eye balls. That's what I've heard anyways....

But look at the bright side, Ryan's gonna make 5 litres of Egg Nog! :)

13. My life is a series of neverending sob stories...here's another

Day 1 Face vs. Baseboard heater
Originally uploaded by Alicia Becker

Alright. SO I thought I would include with this post one of the most UNflattering pictures I could....also to highlight the newest features on my face...note: enlarged nose with wall-burn and swollen lips.

Now, my nose is big enough as it is you say...well that's true...In order to tell the story of my nose I need to back things up a bit. So here it goes.

I've been sick for a little more than a week now...I've been coughing, had shortness of breath...read my last blog for more details.

Now... Sunday rolls around, by this time I've taken almost a whole bottle of Buckleys (in proper doses) and several Advil Cold and Sinus' I dragged my butt outta bed and went to church, had a great time at youth group (despite the medication wearing off about half an hour into a two hour long Killer Bunnies game) and then I drove home and collapsed on the couch for a few hours...under a big hot blanket.

Supper with the folks...ate a couple bites of pot pie...back to the blanket...then around 1:00am I started to get really hot...then there was some blurred vision and stumbling around followed by some nausea....(nope, blurred vision and stumbling did not seem to me good enough reasons to lay back down)

I stumbled into the bathroom and at 1:??am

***This is where time stops for me***

I woke up and became acutely aware of certain details...my nose was wet...and cold...and my face was pressed against something hard...and cold...I reached up to feel my nose and realized it was bleeding and that I was lying on the floor...I got myself up sobbing and sweating and feeling very confused and found my bed.

Then I did what any self respecting adult would do in a situation like that would do....I called for help... :) I am forever in Cheryl's debt.

I'm not sure EXACTLY what happened when I blacked out...somehow my face ended up in the corner behind the bathroom door...basically I did a face plant on the floor which may have included a face slide down the wall...I'm surprised I didn't break my nose...or blacken my eyes...

What ticks me off is that people all over, kids, teenagers and college kids pass out drunk all the time, and what do they have to show for it? A couple bruises and a hangover? I get SICK and pass out and I get...facial disfigurement! So it's worse than it looks I'm sure...I also bit a good chunk out of my cheek, mmmm.

So after the passing out and the continued rattling in my chest I decided to go to the walk-in clinic and get it checked out (my mom also told me it was a good idea)

...turns out I had "influenza" which triggered my childhood asthma...greaaaat....I wondered why I was craving puffers all week.... plus by the time I got to the clinic apparently my face was oozing puss because it was infected...greaaat....so I not only got two bloody expensive puffers...but I got some $20 cream for my face too! woot...

So here ends the sorrowful tale of pathetic Alicia and the swollen nose. Your pity is welcome...and monetary gifts are being accepted :P

Moral of the story: Listen to your mom. (and get your flu shot)

12. I have a number of significant illnesses

So, don't you hate that person who is always talking about how sick they are and how many things that are wrong with them? Like you care right?

So, after I worked out on Friday morning I was short of breath all day and then on the weekend my chest started getting tight followed by a slight congestion and a yucky feeling in my tummy like a churning sort of thing...Yesterday my head started getting cloudy and my nose was running, I felt flushed and dizzy...so I caved and bought Cold FX...then LATER in the day I caved AGAIN and bought BUCKLEYS!!!!

Self diagnosis: I'm dying
Only cure: (more cowbell?) Perhaps a good looking fictional vampire could cross my path and take me out of my misery? No? Well, I'll keep reading anyways and see if there's a possibility there.

Until then. Buckleys it is...mmm tastes like I'm swallowing pine needles and menthol...oh wait, that's what it is...

11. Green is the new...oh whatever.

So speaking of adventures in fooding.

I was browsing the interweb yesterday and I found a recipe for a smoothie...now, what you should know is, I have been on a health kick lately. I mean, I realize that most times these "kicks" are here and gone in a month, but I've been working out regularly for a little over a week and I'd really like to give this whole lifestyle change thing a go. So...smoothie.

The recipe called for SPINACH!

Okay, I like spinach, especially covered in butter and garlic...but of course, as a friend once pointed out, anything is good covered in garlic and butter.

So the spinach, because it is tasteless just turns the smoothie a pretty....or grimey looking...green colour. I also added half a banana, a whole apple (minus seeds and stem), a half cup of yogurt and a third of a cup of milk. Now, I don't love bananas...but the apples and the vanilla yogurt made this one for me. I would have to say on a scale of 1-10 in smoothie world, this one just for nutritional value alone would get a 9.2... no spinichy green taste, just apple and banana goodness. mmm....

SO TRY IT! GO GREEN!!!

10. I am not on my game

So, remember back in school when you were constantly thinking, re-thinking and evaluating your views? You were learning and reading and understanding things that were new, and being pushed towards a better self?

School's out apparently, and so is my ability to dig in. I feel stagnant and underwhelmed...

I bought a book about making disciples in youth ministry yesterday. When I was in the store I read a half chapter and I thought to myself, "yes, this is what I need to read right now!" When I got back to home base and started digging in, I realized that it was another book like many others that I've read...I need some stretching. I need some practical knowledge too, I've lived in the theoretical for too long.

Fake it till you make it? What happens if you never make it? When is it okay to stop faking and own up to your shortcomings?

9. I am Tender...

So, I live in a reality where I have a freezer full of different kinds of meat, most of which I am unsure of how to prepare. My parents recently purchased a new freezer and showed mercy to both of their impoverished children by sharing the wealth of frozen meat that they would otherwise have tossed. As a result I am attempting to not BUY meat....unless I need to. Which means some rather interesting meals.

Last night was an experimental one in the meat department. I grabbed a pork tenderloin, slightly freezer burnt, out of the deep freeze...and I called my mom. You see, normally I would first check the internet for some clues but my laptop finally kicked the can yesterday and I am without (broke...and laptopless...). So, mom says, "I have this great recipe...it has brown sugar and cayanne pepper" however, said recipe is nowhere to be found. Also within the course of the conversation she mentions to me that an aunt of mine, who also happens to be a greatcook roasts her pork tenderloin just covered in apples or apple sauce...You would think that would be enough clues to get me started...however, while all this is happening I flip to one of the dozens of cook books I have inherited which shows a recipe including soy sauce and honey...So. At this point I have nothing to loose. the meat will either go uncooked and unhappy, cooked and tasty OR cooked and uneaten....McDonalds is just down the road, so I begin my experimentations. Here is the recipe (keeping in mind that these are not exact measurements):

1 pork tenderloin
1/3 cup soy sauce
3 tbs honey
dash of cayanne
1 heaping tbs brown sugar
3 tbs viniger
dash of cinnimon
2 apples cubed
dehydrated onions
salt/pepper

In a shaker (or lidded container) place the soy sauce, honey, spices, brown sugar, onions and viniger. Shake. (not you, the container...) Place tenderloin IN slowcooker on low and add in the liquid.
So, I let the tenderloin cook sans apples for about an hour and a half in the slow cooker and then added in the cubed apples after I had tossed them in a bowl with some cinnamon, honey and cayanne....

then I let her cook for 4 hours (or so)

Experiment: SUCCESSFUL!!!

It was perfectly salted...none required, a bit sweet and sour. The apples/liquids made a great "sauce" and were really quite tasty! We ate it with smashed potatoes and veggies. mmm.

Would I experiment similarly again? YES! In fact, upon review, I think that the recipe could even use some squash or sweet potato added in the mix..mmm..

sorry no pictures...there wasn't enough left to document. :P

8. I am [a]mature.

One too many
Originally uploaded by Alicia Becker

Dumb luck is my style of photography.
I'd love to learn more of the "rules" and perhaps get a camera worthy of being used for "artistic photography" but for now I like to screw around. Hence, Tim at the bottom of a glass.

Fall has provided a bunch of opportunity to do some picture taking. I should take advantage of it more often. Trip over to my Flickr page for some of the fall's harvest.

7. I remain pathetic....ly single

Conversation #1
person #1: Hey. You have big boobs.
person #2: um....thanks [BLOCK]

Conversation #2
person #1: Hello, your profile looks really great!
person #2: Oh, thanks. How are you?
person #1: I'm great, what are you up to?
*****2 minutes passes********
person #1: Do you think that we could have sex?
person #2: *blank stare* [BLOCK]

Is this REALLY how online dating is?
If so, I am SOOOO not interested.
Seriously. I would rather be single for the rest of my life
(*gasp* take it back)
Men. Where ever you are.
Take note: STOP BEING DOUCHE BAGS!

In other news. I didn't get the job.

6. I am a bit misplaced...

Where? Well that I'm not sure of. I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach lately...

It's the same feeling that I got when I was little and I was left behind at a wedding...I was too busy playing under a table with some friends I had met that night to realize that my entire family had left...my parents thought my aunt and uncle had me, my aunt and uncle thought my grandparents had me...lo and behold when everyone met at my aunts house I was nowhere to be found. Now, that's the side I always hear about. From my side it felt a bit like, crawling out from under the table, a fort, a sanctuary and scanning the room for just one familiar face and finding none. I'm sure many feelings rushed in, fear of being alone, excitement of being unsupervised, guilt of having hidden unintentionally, loneliness of being forgotten. I'm sure at that point I weighed my options, go back and continue playing, or search harder. There aren't really many options when you are under the age of ten. I don't remember what I did actually. I'm sure my family quickly realized that I was not with them and even more quickly came back to pick me up. They are not negligent, and never have been...but the feeling of being temporarily is what I do remember.

I used to have dreams about being lost. I think everyone does.

So what if I am lost now. For real lost. If I look at a map I can tell you exactly where I am. If I look back through journals and pictures, and hear the stories of my family and friends, I can tell you exactly where I've been. In this moment though, where am I? Who am i? If I scan my life are there familiar faces to rely on? Is the environment friendly? The moving forward scares me too. When you're lost you're supposed to stay put...Do I just stay here under the table and play a bit longer? Or do I stand up and search harder? Will someone just come in and rescue me from choosing at all?

I'm finding more and more that the option of waiting to be found or rescued is not based in reality.

So. I move. Slowly. And sometimes stop and turn around to hide under the table again.

5. I just can't stop talking about myself.

I am proud. I am proud and selfish.
I can't help but think that I am worse off for it.
There is something in me that craves people's attention.
Unhealthily (if that is a word)
And really I know it's not something I need.
It's stupid really.

Part of being selfish is always finding a way to direct the conversation to yourself....

Person 1: I took a great class the other day, I really learned a lot about (fill in the blank). I think I'll go again.
Alicia: Wow. That's great. I've never taken that class. I should.

***official end of conversation***....Where do you go from there? Tips?

Or perhaps, and this is really something I think,
I really can't think of anything else to talk about but myself?
It's not that I think I'm that much better than ANYTHING else that could become a topic of conversation....
but really, the topic I know the very most about is myself.

Goal for the week: Find something interesting to talk about....that doesn't include myself....I'll have to google it.

In other news, I am going to Michigan this weekend to celebrate the joining of two close friends of mine. I'm very pleased that they're tying the knot...Should be a wild weekend. Lots of....PJs in public places??? Awkward. I think I'll stick with clothes. yep. :P

4. What if Dog was one of us...

Okay, okay. It's been awhile. I have just been so busy with my unbelievably exciting life to post here. ha. oh wait.

So today, I'm in the laundry room putting in a couple of loads. There's a woman beside me who has about 3 washers going and she's lifting up the lids every two seconds (like a kid and a refrigerator...is the light still on?) Anyways. I'm in my very zen laundry place when suddenly out of nowhere comes the loudest and most terrible bark I have ever heard! I turn around to see this GIANT dog IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM!!! Granted, he was on a leash and his owner was with him (he was with the neurotic laundry lady) So I literally JUMP out of my skin, turn around with my hand on my chest and start shaking...the woman sees her lovely dog, says something sweet to him and then invites him over to take a sniff of me. WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM WOMAN!?!?!?!?!?!? Seriously. Did she know anything about me? Did she know for a fact that I was not absolutely terrified of dogs, gargantuan ones at that? I was so angry.

Public Service Announcement:
Part A. DON'T BRING YOUR FRICKEN DOGS INTO THE LAUNDRY ROOM
Part B. When someone looks terrified. Apologize and send the dog away. You idiot.

3. Old, new, whatever.

Hey all.
So. It's a new year. It has been for just over a week now. I have to say, my new years celebrations were some of my favourite to date. Actually, thinking about those celebrations, and listening to everyone talk about getting married, having babies and all that gross stuff (she adds quickly to protect her pride and sense of self worth), has inspired me....

I think I'm going to host myself a bachelorette party.
I mean really. I am WAY more bachelorette than any of my soon to be married friends.
And I love having fun.
So? Are you single? A girl?
You're in.
ha ha.

On a completely different note. I was sitting here on this dreary day, all by myself at Collins, reading stupid magazines, and I found this great site listed in "Wish" magazine. Pretty soon this company called BotaniCALLS will be launching a system that you can attach(?) to your plants and when they need water or have been overwatered (etc) they will actually call you on the phone. The demos are HILARIOUS. Definitely check it out.

Peace.